As the youngest child of 3, you learn the tricks and ways of
how to get on your parents’ good side. As a child of alcoholics, you learn how
important getting on people’s good sides is. You want to please everyone and
make sure everyone is happy. You try so hard and yet time and time again your
parents choose alcohol over you. As a seven year old, when your mom dies from kidney
failure from drinking too much you’re angry. What did you do wrong? Why did she
leave you? You thought you did everything right, you thought you kept everyone
happy; but now you are alone in your anger. This anger turns in to animosity to
the world around you. You act out in class, start hanging out with the wrong
kids. Eventually, you start to behave again. You get good grades, you
participate in extra-curriculars and sports; you keep everyone happy. Everyone
except yourself. Your whole life you have been trying to prove people wrong; you come from a family of alcoholics, your mom died when you were
little, you’re not as wealthy as your friends, but you’re still just as
successful if not more. Your mom was one of the first women to work on the floor
as a trader at the Board of Trade in Chicago. She made mistakes, but that doesn’t
mean you have to. You spend your whole life trying to balance this anger and
depression and carry on your moms legacy while abolishing the things from the past that
took her from you.
With a mix of emotions you start at your local community
college, ashamed that you don’t have the money to go to your dream school like
your friends do, but still trying to do your best and prove everyone wrong. You
become involved in student body government and eventually become student body
president. During your presidency, you hold the voice of over 30,000 students, you
have to make sure they are heard. You don’t let anyone stop you and you
continue to fight for what you think is right. It’s when you’re in your math
classes that you notice so many disparities. You are one of 3 women in your predominately
white male calculus class. This bothers you as you soon notice how the men
react when you answer a question, calling you princess, telling you your answer
was wrong when it was in fact right, and generally doubting your over all
intelligence. You then notice there aren’t many people of color in the
classroom either. You want to find out why, you want to know who told them they
couldn’t make it in the STEM world, and you want to find them and tell them
they can. As student body president, you begin to advocate for a multicultural
center on campus. Your students need more support and want to see more
awareness and experience more cultures. There is a lot of push back from the
administration and your term is ending soon. The next year they finally decide to
create a center, but it is nothing like you imagined or advocated for.
After transferring to UIUC for mathematics and to join the NROTC, you realize, at the end of the day all you want to do is teach. You leave UIUC right away and transfer to UIC. You go back to volunteering like you used to and see all the disparities in the current education system and want to make changes. At volunteering you meet a boy, who has great disposition, is super smart and sweet. So when he shows you his report card you are surprised. After talking, you find out the reason his grades are so low is because he doesn't turn his homework assignments in because he always loses them and when he does find them they are wrinkled and turned in late. His teacher does not grade the late assignments or care to find out whats going on at home to see why he has a hard time doing homework at home and staying organized. His teacher tells him it's his fault for not having a folder to keep all his assignments. You immediately take one of your own folders and give it to him. How is it possible that this smart great kid is failing a class because he doesn't have a folder and his teacher is penalizing him for it.
After transferring to UIUC for mathematics and to join the NROTC, you realize, at the end of the day all you want to do is teach. You leave UIUC right away and transfer to UIC. You go back to volunteering like you used to and see all the disparities in the current education system and want to make changes. At volunteering you meet a boy, who has great disposition, is super smart and sweet. So when he shows you his report card you are surprised. After talking, you find out the reason his grades are so low is because he doesn't turn his homework assignments in because he always loses them and when he does find them they are wrinkled and turned in late. His teacher does not grade the late assignments or care to find out whats going on at home to see why he has a hard time doing homework at home and staying organized. His teacher tells him it's his fault for not having a folder to keep all his assignments. You immediately take one of your own folders and give it to him. How is it possible that this smart great kid is failing a class because he doesn't have a folder and his teacher is penalizing him for it.
All of your experiences have brought you here. Your privileges
have given you so many opportunities that others do not have. You meet all
different kinds of students and people. You learn you want to work with the kids
who have been told no and the ones that are just so angry at the world they
could snap at any moment and the ones who have a bad grade in a class all
because they don’t have a folder. It’s
not about your love for math, it’s not about your desire to help others, it’s
not about you at all. You learn, you do not want to speak for others, but wish
to be the pedestal which they stand upon so they can be heard.
Thanks for sharing your story. I like how you say that your role as a teacher is to prove wrong all those people who have been telling kids "no." Your high expectations for everyone will inspire and support those who most need it.
ReplyDeleteYour post about fighting for multi-cultural inclusion is very insightful. I think this determination you have to build an inclusive community is also an important aspect of teaching. Building an inclusive classroom is so important in helping students grow and feel comfortable within their learning environment. I also appreciated that you addressed that you took a nontraditional path in education. Most students do not fit the "traditional" mold and recognizing that will allow you to better teach.
ReplyDeleteThe part of your story involving the student you met is nice, but also angering. I agree, how can a teacher be so inconsiderate? It seems as if he or she did not make a real effort to get to the root of the problem, since there may be events going on at home in which hinder his ability to do his work. Students spend majority of their time in school, and so a lot of cognitive development occurs in these young ages.
ReplyDeleteAnother point I want to mention is your story about your family. It is unfortunate that you had to experience such trauma, but you are not alone. There are students in schools of need that are going through something similar, and so I believe if a student of yours makes his or her self vulnerable to you, you can help and better understand.
Kiley,
ReplyDeleteVery inspiring story. Knowing that adversities can turn into motivation to overcome life's challenges. This, undoubtedly, had giving you a deeper understanding of what many of our students go through. Not only that, but it has prepare you to be that role model and support system that our students need.
Thank you for sharing this. I can relate to your story in so many ways and I may be biased, but I think that difficult life experiences often help us to develop empathy, ultimately making us better teachers. You will be not only be a great math teacher, but also a much-needed role model for students that feel as if school and trying hard are useless. I'm glad to have you in my classes and excited to see what you can do as an advocate for those who are too-often forgotten.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your extremely personal story and being open about some tough times in your childhood. You have shown a huge amount of resilience throughout you life. These experiences will aid you in becoming the teacher many students dealing with similar situations will need in the future.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. Your indefatigable spirit make who you are today and your warm heart will bright up your surrounding.
ReplyDeleteYour story was inspiring, the strongest people are the ones who take their past, their hurt, their history, and turn it into strength and a bright future. You have the unique ability to see past where others usually don't see. That is an important strength as a teacher, to see past what may seem obvious to the honest truth of all of your students.
ReplyDeleteAfter this semester, all of my reasonings still hold true. In fact I feel even more passionate about helping students who feel they cannot make it. After sitting in on meetings and initiatives to assist students who are in remedial level math classes upon graduation. It was interesting to hear the perspectives and see that many teachers don't see students as "math" kids. I don't believe that is a thing at all. I was never a "math" kid in fact I hated it. Now I have a passion for teaching it. I don't think anyone should be told they can or can't do anything based on where they are at the moment. - Kiley
ReplyDelete